I remember there was once such a thread... since it seems to be lost, I am starting a new one!
I start with the CIA
CIA: Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
Don't feel bad chris, you'll always have the best god damn girlfriend you can ever ask for. She always does exactly what you tell her to do, even to a fault. She's smart, witty, funny, and loves playing videogames, she also loves it when you play arround with I/O ports, so long as you don't touch the wrong cable. Yup, the computer is the best girlfriend a programmer could ever ask for. hell, I have 3 of them and not a single one of them gets jealous of the others. Especially not the one I put in the kitchen. where she will stay, just like she belongs.
The Novice programmer looks at his finished code and believes it to be perfect. The Average programmer sees his finished code as a work with bugs to fix. The Master programmer knows that no code is without bugs, but always looks to repair them.
Not really a joke but one of my favorite coding quotes.